Why Am I Waiting?
by Ignorance-Your New Best Friend
Summary: A one shot at a Jim and Pam fic... it's my first JAM fic and it's based before the whole Casino Night drama... hope you like it!


**This is my first The Office fanfic so please review! It's JAM (first JAM fic too...) and it's pre-Casino Night. You can put it anywhere... just pre-Casino Night. And yeah, my jokes are bad.**

_Why am I waiting? Because I am an idiot. And idiot that wants her to be happy… but still, a pretty big idiot._

Jim was awoken from his thoughts by Dwight.

"What are you doing?" he dared to ask.

"What are you doing?" Dwight mocked. "Of course you wouldn't know, idiot." Jim couldn't help but shrug and turn back to his computer. Dwight had enjoyed the attention though. "This, is a device I call the beet-a-nator."

"Creative."

"Creative." Dwight mocked. "Ok then, I won't tell you what this is for."

Jim shrugged again. "I don't really care."

But he did. Dwight didn't want to be made fun of… why did he make it so easy? Jim observed Dwight's wonderful new hat and tried to hide a smile.

"What's it for?" he asked.

"It's for-" Dwight struggled internally and turned back to his computer.

Jim was distracted completely from Dwight's hat as he heard Pam, shouting. That was something he nearly never saw.

"No, Roy! Just go!" she slammed the office's door and walked in. She saw that everyone was looking at her and she turned slightly red while wiping a small tear from her eye. Jim turned awkwardly back to his computer screen, and soon after, everyone else followed. He felt awkward because he knew that it was wrong to, but he couldn't help but get his hopes up. He knew that that was wrong, so he looked up again to ask if there was anything that he could do. But Pam ignored him or didn't see him. Great. One of those days. He got up and went up to her desk. He couldn't stand watching her like that… normally he'd keep it to himself, suffer in silence. Today he was feeling happy… he tried to convince himself that it wasn't because of a possible break up; it was never going to happen.

"Hey…" he said.

"Oh, hi." She woke up. "I mean, hi Jim. I'm sorry, I'm a bit off today."

"I can see that… Beesly, were you shouting?"

"Um, yeah, I was." She smiled. Jim liked her smile.

"Ok, freak. Just don't relinquish your anger on me."

"I'll try not to." She kept on smiling. Jim wondered why… and he was happy with assessing the fact that he made her smile.

Jim walked back to his desk. All he could do was ask how she was every now and then.

"So, Dwight..."

"Yes, idiot." he said, without looking up from his screen.

Jim frowned at him. He wasn't the one wearing a beer hat with what looked like punctured beets and straws.

"So... did you invent this?" he asked as he sat back down at his own desk.

"Of course I did." Dwight snorted.

"Of course you did..." Jim muttered.

Dwight looked at him. "Hey, that's mine!"

"What's mine?"

"The - no, that is my pencil!"

"I know it's mine, I'm using it."

"No, it's mine... look, it has my face on it in ink."

"I know that it has my face on it in ink, Dwight."

"No, it's my face-"

"I know."

"Jim, give me my pencil."

Jim frowned and gave his pencil back to himself.

"What? No, give me my pencil."

"I'm giving me... my pencil." Jim gave his pencil to himself.

"Damn it, Jim!" Dwight growled but calmed himself down. "Give you your pencil."

"Ok..." Jim gave himself his pencil.

Jim found Pam sitting outside on the bench. He felt like saying something useful, but instead he decided on "So, Beesly. Did you know that Dwight is obsessed with my pencil?"

She jumped slightly at his presence. Jim laughed. She pulled a face at him.

"Oh, really? Where is it?"

"Oh, I gave it to Creed to destroy it... and I don't know what that means. Oh... he did have a lighter... That is not supposed to happen..."

"Oh, no, Jim, you know that he really likes your pencil... you should get you a new one."

"I know I should... but wouldn't someone ask why I was putting my ugly face on there?"

"Oh, you're not ugly." It just came out.

Jim's eyes widened in surprise. He wanted to take it as a compliment, but he knew that it wasn't like that.

"Well, now I have to tell Dwight that you love him." he started to leave.

"Wait, no!" Pam stood up, confused. "When did we reverse back?"

"When you expressed your true feelings for Dwight!" Jim said obviously.

"But that doesn't count-"

"Oh, I think it does, Beesly. Dwight!" he called out.

"No, don't! I'll tell him where your pencil is..."

"Why would he care where my pencil is?"

"Jim! Stop it, my head hurts."

"Oh, that's probably from all the rage locked inside of you... Don't go dropping an A-Bomb on me Beesly."

Pam paused. "Why am I Beesly?" she asked him. "Why aren't I Pam?"

"Wha-?" Jim was confused. "I like the name Beesly." he said. It was true. It was better than Anderson, anyway.

"I'm not going to be Beesly forever, Jim." she wasn't joking around. He wasn't joking around in his head when he wished it would be Halpert.

"I know... make the most of it while it lasts though..."

"Why? Don't you like Anderson?"

"No, I mean... when did we change subject?" No, this wasn't where this should go.

"I don't like Anderson." she muttered.

"Pam..."

"I know, it's stupid. Roy's just being a jerk..."

Maybe because he is one... Jim couldn't help it.

Pam breathed in. "Thank you, Jim."

"For what?"

"For being my friend. I like having someone to talk to. Someone that doesn't want anything in return."

Jim felt guilty. "No problem." he said, sucking it up. He wanted her to be happy. And she was happy with him as her friend, waiting for nothing in return.

"I'm cold..." she said. "See you inside?"

"Yeah. Not going anywhere." she left him standing there by himself.

She couldn't tell him how much those words meant to her.

He stared at his feet. He was just a friend. But he wanted more-

"Hey! Jim, right? Do you know where Pam is? We're leaving early today."

"Oh... If you want I could bring her home." Jim said hopefully, though more for her own sake than for his. "She's still a bit... shaken up." he struggled to find the best choice of words.

"Tell her then." Roy said, going to stand by the car.

"Ok." He didn't feel like it, but he was her friend. And friends didn't try to split up other friends.

He went back into the building, slowly. He didn't see her at her desk, so he decided to leave it. Then Dwight started questioning him so he left for the break room. On the way he was stopped by the sound of someone crying in the woman's bathroom. He went back to the entrance and when Pam opened the bathroom door, eyes red, he pretended that he was only just coming in.

"Um... hey Pam. Roy is... waiting for you to go home." he forced the words out, he didn't want her to go with someone that made her like this.

"Oh... Ok, I better leave."

Jim bit his tongue and stopped her. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

Jim bit his tongue again but still spoke. "For him. I mean, he doesn't seem sorry, so I thought that someone should be."

Pam took it the wrong way and turned to leave again.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Pam? Look at you."

"I'm fine, Jim. Thanks for worrying. I have to go..."

"I just..." he tried. Pam turned back to look at him, confused.

"You just what?" she waited. Jim could feel his heart beating louder.

Stanely emerged from the men's bathroom.

"Never mind." he gave up. "See you tomorrow, Beesly."

Pam felt like arguing. But she couldn't. She was already arguing with Roy, and she had to face him again. She didn't need to loose Jim too. He meant a lot to her. Not more than Roy did, though. Did he?

"See you tomorrow, Halpert."

Pam _Halpert_. That sounded strange, but not ridiculous. Oh, well, they were good friends. Best friends. It wasn't like that.

On her way out she left a message.

"Dwight, Creed burnt your pencil."

"Damn it!"


End file.
